(Netflix not accurately transcribing the pronunciation of “textses” in their closed captioning,,,,,war crime.)
I will happily return your phone calls and/or texts(es), emails, DMs, etc.
*If I don’t know you and you cold call me, it will likely go straight to voicemail because I keep my phone on do not disturb full time despite the fact that it is slowly fusing into my hand to form a new appendage. (I’m so sorry I am one of those people.) Leave a message, I guess.
**If you are a T*ylor Sw*ft stan imploring me, once again, to kill myself, I am simply asking that you come up with something a bit more clever or original before you make the choice to hit send!